sally sue and jonny started to fall in lust right before sally sue moved away. now they live on different coasts, but it seems jonny wants things to work out between them--according to sally sue.
they couldn't be more different, but he still calls (once every other month out of 7). sometimes he e-mails (through the social networking site SpaceBook...once every third month out of 7). and at times he'll send (blank) text messages just to show he still cares.
sally sue's never really been in a relationship before. she is still a virgin. but she really lusts jonny. he's sort of a bad boy. he served time in Gitmo (!), he has a "baby-mama" (!!), and now he moderates Bingo Night at the local nursing home. it's just down the street from his grandmother's house--where he also lives (!!!).
sally sue really wants to give him a break. it's not like he's not self-motivated. he could be doing so many other things. after all, at least he has job. That's his only "baby-mama." and he did say he was falsely accused with that whole Gitmo thing--plus--come on, you know how the prison industrial complex works--locally and globally.
but there is one thing that gets under sally sue's nails...
as she reflects on her last encounter with jonny, she clicks through his profile.
lo and behold, yet again--new nu-nanny stopping by to blow kisses.
all those damn strippers on his SpaceBook drive her up the wall! forget the hypothetical baby-mama-drama, armed robbery, and living with Gramms--these heifas on his page make her lose her religion! (which he doesn't claim.) every time she visits, there are new bare T&A staring back at her from his wall posts inviting him somewhere to do something which can't be too Godly.
so many questions swirling in sally sue's mind. she gets overwhelmed. how come she doesn't have any ultra-sexy men leaving comments on her page? does he meet a new woman every weekend? WTH! UGH!!! SEXISM!!!!!!! she thinks SO UN-FRICKIN-FAIR!
sally sue screams inside: I WANT STRIPPER LOVE TOO!!!! she thinks i would've lost it centuries ago if we had the same undie-access!
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